Activities

There are certain things you tell yourself before you become a parent that you absolutely won’t do when you become a parent but all of which you will inevitably do. You promise that you won’t discuss the frequency, color, and texture of your baby’s excrement with the same erudition as you might say about Abstract Expressionism. You promise yourself that you will ask about other people’s lives before you unleash the minutia of Life with Baby. You promise yourself that in ear shot of innocent ears that you will at least spell rather than say expletives. Then you hear your toddler say, “Shit Shit Shit” for no apparent reason other than you just said it and didn’t realize it. If you had spelled it and then he had spelled, you could claim he was a genius.

One of my many promises to my pre-parent-self was to keep my job title as Mommy from becoming Chauffer. I don’t like being in the car or driving cars and part of me has been secretly awaiting the grand finale of our oil obsessed nation. Added to my aversion to internal combustion engine is the necessity of strapping children down as if it were a moon launch. You don’t get to BE anywhere, because you are always GOING everywhere.

Well, all I can say, is “Shit Shit Shit” one more promise out the freakin’ car window. The pictures speak for themselves.